You know, you hear the word "Supernova" and you think it's something really awesome.
But it's actually something really depressing.
Because what it is is an explosion. And it burns so bright, it outshines everything around it and then it fades away and then everything is gone.
So I've been pretty depressed lately, feeling like I've wasted my life up to this point. I'm not saying this to get pity or for someone to say "Noooo! You're special!"
Really, the earth has 7 billion people. There's a lot of competition for making a mark and, no, everyone is not special. We are not all individual little snowflakes who make the world a beautiful and lovely place.
Some of us are just breathing. Just consuming resources and taking up a little space. And when we go away we won't have a big bright explosion or a shining light. We'll just fade away. And that's it and that's all. And a few years will pass and no one will remember our names or our faces.
I've just been feeling like it's a wasted effort to try to make an impact because it will only be fleeting, it will only be overshadowed and it will only be stepped on by someone with more potential to be awesome.
I don't know what happens after a supernova. I didn't study enough to know. I might even be wrong about what I do know. I imagine the light goes out and millions of rocks are spread across the universe, moving and falling until they crash into another planet's orbit and burn up in the atmosphere before they can even make a mark on the land.