Monday, May 25, 2009

diva ga ga

Crazy week of craziness is over. Took the optician test. Read (a story about cruise ship performing conjoined twins) at Quickies. Read (a story about a teddy bear getting a colonic) at the Dollar Store (while wearing a turban).

Saw the great Jill Summers kick booty at the Literary Death Match.

And now, I was able to enjoy the morning and spend some serious time contacting venues in New Orleans and DC for the BIG TOUR!!!!

I hope they write back. I feel like I'm online dating.

Huge, amazing news from the land of Jac Jemc. Dzanc is going to publish her book!!!!!! (in 2012, why-oh-why do I have to wait so long for these amazing books?! They're publishing a collection of Rober Lopez's short stories in 2010, sigh).


So I was walking to work the other day, all excited for Jac, and all excited for the BIG TOUR, when I had a stupid, but bumming out thought: almost everyone I know has a book either published or about to be published. sigh.

It's not like I've never considered the idea of a book of my own. Sometimes when I'm in a bookstore, I'll go to the "H" section and find where my name would go on the shelf. But it was never the big goal. Never the final destination of my mind.

I guess I'm also feeling bleh, because people around me more and more have been talking to me like writing is a cute hobby of mine, like decopage or knitting. Fuck.

I don't know. I've sort of realized that most of my focus has always been on the individual story and just trying to get it on the page because it's in my head and I feel like it deserves to exist and if someone decides to put in in their journal, awesome. But I've never looked at these stories and said, now what are you going to do for me? Maybe I should.

What I should do is stop shitting around looking at pictures of prehistoric creatures on the internet. Maybe I should get off the couch and go to my desk and write something with the intent of making it something real. Not because I want to catch up with everyone else, but because if one more person talks to me about writing as if it is my hobby I just might jump off some bridge somewhere. Either that or I'll move to France and become a cobbler.

shut me up, i'm being stupid.


Sunday, May 17, 2009

We have one eye so we must be twins

Took the optician test this morning.

Walking into the room I felt more prepared than I have for any test ever before.

10 questions in, I found myself thinking "I have never seen this word before in my life ever...."

ahhh, balls.

I've spent a good portion of my spare time and all of my days off for the last month putting of most things so that I could study. I did save time for documentaries and for learning the chords to "Patience" on the gee-tar. A girl has to have priorities after all.

I've been pretty antsy mostly because I have some story ideas in my brain and haven't had the time/energy/brain power to write them down.

Good thing I'm doing two readings this week and need to write something S.T.A. George is John Doe T.

Other things I now am going to do with my spare time:

Learn a foreign language
Pick up my slack and do my share of the work on the BIG TOUR
Take my cats to the vet
Learn to make pie
Finish the damn palindrome
Take out the garbage
Get a library card (I know, I know)
eat chocolate chips

But first, and perhaps most importantly, I am going to do a little sway dance while I whistle along to this awesomeness:

I also think we should take a moment to share this:


Wednesday, May 13, 2009


Somehow I've taken to saying "balls" every time I mess something up. I've been studying for the optician certification exam and every time I get a review question wrong "balls.

Every time I goof up or forget something "balls."

When a filling in my molar fell out "balls."

When I miss the bus "balls."

When I took the SATs, I was still working on the math section with the moderator said, "TIME" and I said, "SH*T!"

I imagine myself taking the optician exam on Sunday, the Lord's day, and the moderator saying, "TIME!" and me shouting, "BALLS!"


Two readings this week:

QUICKIES! (of course)
THE DOLLAR STORE (the secret's out)


Wednesday, May 06, 2009

always the bridesmaid

Good and bad tidings today.

Good is, I'm on Wigleaf's long short list for their top 50 stories of 2009 (not just stories published in Wigleaf, it's for stories published all over this great Internet of ours) and that makes me feel good.

Bad is, I didn't make the top 50 list. If this is anything like how I felt when I was waitlisted for 3 colleges back in the day, I like to think I came in 51st.

Check out all 250 stories here. Without me, Wigleaf would just be aweso.