Wednesday, August 27, 2008

My personal experience speaks volumes

Blue Cross Blue Shield is a bad bad bad corporation.

I think they've made my health worse in the last year.

Thanks, Blue Cross!!!


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Platform diving is scary

The commentator on the NBC just said that the platform divers hit the water at 35 mph. Seriously.

anyway, moving on

I'm really super happy today because I have a new story up at Thieves Jargon. It'll only be up for a week so *don't hesitate! act now!*

read it here

Ahhhh, after many submissions to TJ, I am sooooo happy.


Sunday, August 17, 2008

20 Shocking Unsolved m.ladys

So I've re-arranged my apartment (which, I think, is about 400 sq feet) and now I have a couch! So now I can be a real couch potato!

And, as I don't procrastinate, I am sitting on my *new/old couch* watching E! and "20 Shocking Unsolved Crimes" / "My Shocking Story" on TLC / "The Olympics" while eating too much guacamole (wait, is there such a thing?!).

How then, you wonder, do I manage to get any writing done?

Them's the benefits of ADD, ya slackers.

Anyswezz, I have a new little story and an Interview (!) up at the kind Nick Ostdick's blog.

Check it out

la la la


Friday, August 08, 2008

Would you be my American boy?

In case you missed it (slackers)

I read this at the CUTE!!! Rec Room reading:

Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven?

Mind if I sit here? Is this seat taken? Don't I know you from somewhere? My goodness, you sure are.....uh, cute? You know you're like a kitten with crooked ears, you're like a unicorn foal, a bunny toy with one eye. You're a basket full of kittens, a baby in a pea pod, you're a puppy wearing snow boots.

Tell you what, let's go somewhere where we can giggle and snuggle in private. Wanna come on over to my Barbie Dream House? You're not allergic to bears are you? I just adopted 14 baby Koala's and, I hope you don't mind, but I need to stop by Tootie's garden store on the way, gotta pick up some chocolate frosting bamboo.

Did anyone ever tell you that your eyes look like snickerdoodles in a lake of marshmallow fluff? Oh, you're so pretty, like a field of poppies in a sunshine bathtub. I just want to snuggle cuddle you. Oh, did I go to far? I'm sorry, I went too far. Stepped over the candy cane line. I always do that when I really like a teddy bear.

Let's start slow huh? Take it easy like a dream on a pillow of stars and dreams and moonshine. No, not that kind of moonshine, the glitter and crayon kind of moonshine. We can go to the movies, only we'll pretend we're French and say stuff like "ooh, let's go to the cinema and eat croissants and smoke cigarettes and say the poetry and dress all in black. Mon dieu! Bonjour! soc le blu!"

Hey hey and eventually we can get good and sweet on each other. Sweet like cinnamon rolls. Sweet like Joey Lawrence. Whoa! We can get married. We can honeymoon on gumdrop lane and bon bon our way to ticklish sunflower island. We can tiddlywink in the blue water of the hopscotch ocean. We can skippity doo dah down lemon custard road until we get to the strawberry shortcake castle and there, my sugar plum snuggle puff is where we can be confetti dreamers and make a thousand baby hamsters.

Oh, I went too far, I'm sorry. Oh, too, too far, so sorry, I always do that when I fall for a cartwheeling panda bear in a top hat.

Tell you what, let's take it slow. I'll Charles in Charge you a chocolate milkshake, my little pony. And if you want, you can tap dance the Skittles rainbow out of here, or you can stay, and we can talk about the finer points of pinwheels and interior decorating with lilypads made of sugar cubes and sunflowers.

So what do you say? Let's dream a cloud or two. Let's hook up like siamese twin puggle puppies.

Oh, I'm sorry, I went too far. I always do that when I fall for a New Kid on the Block.


Monday, August 04, 2008


I will be taking part in the Rec Room fundraising reading on Wednesday, August 6.

The theme for the reading is CUTE!!! and I. Cannot. Wait.

My story is a really long pick-up line.

This is the poster:

I want a t-shirt of this.

The reading is:
August 6, 2008
The Black Rock Bar
3614 N Damen (corner of Damen and Addison)
Chicago, IL
$5 (to a good cause)

plus, the Black Rock has yummy tater tots, what more could you desire?!