Monday, May 19, 2008

last call

Jesus and Saint Peter are hanging out at the gates of Heaven. You know, shootin' the shit and what not.

Saint Peter turns to Jesus and says, "hey, J-man, I been here, like a thousand years and I really need to take a leak, can you cover for me?"

And Jesus says, "Dude, I'm the son of God, I think I can cover for a minute."

So Peter runs off, and Jesus takes a look at the questions to ask people before they are let in to Heaven, all nice and listed on Peter's clipboard:

What did you do for work in your life on earth?

Did you have any children?

What do you remember about your children?

So Jesus is hanging out, whistling a little ditty, when this old guy walks up, like really old guy. I'm talking ancient here.

Jesus shakes the guys hand and then looks at the clipboard, says, "Hey there old man, before I can let you in here to my kingdom, I need to ask you a few questions, ahh, let's see here....okay, What did you do for work in your life on earth?"

The old man coughs, and mumbles, "um, I worked with wood."

"Cool," says Jesus, "cool cool, okay, question number two, Did you have any children?"

"Yes," says the old man, "I had one son."

"Right right," says Jesus, "one son, cool cool, now, what do you remember about your son?"

And the old man looks at Jesus, looks with his big blue eyes at Jesus's big brown eyes, looks into his eyes solid and strong and says, "he had nails in his hands and feet."

Jesus drops his pencil, drops the clipboard and grabs the old man's shoulders. With tears all welling up in his eyes, Jesus looks with his big brown eyes into the old man's big blue eyes and says, "Papa?"

And the old man looks at Jesus. Looks with his big blue eyes into Jesus's big brown eyes and says, "Pinocchio?"


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