Friday, April 11, 2008

"beauty pageants" are for real girls

So I'm watching Miss USA (co-hosted by Marie and Donnie Osmond) and eating pizza and drinking vodka (with a dash of grapefruit juice) and they're announcing the top 15 ladies who will be prancing across the stage in various sparkley outfits for the next two hours and it occurs to me that as pretty and tan and skinny and smooth-skinned as they all are...they are all looking dead on the inside.

It makes me happy that I can eat pizza and drink vodka and be at home on a friday night eating pizza and watching Miss USA and be dead on the inside too! My path to the finish line is sooo much easier!

Plus, I'm wearing pajamas.
Elastic waisted pants.
You know it.

(oh, and also, I think at least 5 of the top 15 are actually 30 years old and/or men)


btw, this lady=my hero:





that is all.


No, no it's not, I think Marie Osmond just made an incest joke.




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