Friday, November 30, 2007

give and take

I have taken to reading book excerpts on rather than buying a whole book. Because what happens is, I never buy just one book when I go to buy them online. I buy eight, nine, ten books! and that makes my bank account pissy at me.

Is there a name for a chronic inability to be on time to anything? ever? I don't remember a time in my life when I was reliably punctual. ever. And this makes people judge me, like I'm a bad person because I'm not on time. Never mind the fact that I'm kind to animals and smile at strangers and say please and thank you and have good table manners and pay my bills on time and give hugs when hugs are needed. When I arrive somewhere late, I may as well have just thrown a box of kittens in the lake. That's how much grief I get for being late. a lot. so that's been on my mind. Is there a type of therapy I can go partake in to make me on time?

I am far from being a perfect person which is to say that there are better things to harrass me about than my tardiness.

Project Runway USA is craptastic.
Project Runway Canada is heaven.

If I were to buy some books, I would buy a dash of Yannick Murphy, a li'l dose June Akers Seese, annnnndddd a barrel full of Cortazar. yeaahhhhh....

I have begun to receive bills for the ear infections that I had back in August. I get to pay $350 for the care I received while I was in excruciating pain for two and a half weeks. so, that's awesome.

But, you know what's really awesome? Health insurance. If I didn't have it, I would have had to pay over $1200 for my pain and suffering caused by freakishly small ear canals. So I am 1) grateful that I have health insurance and 2) grateful that I have a job and enough $$ in my account to pay the medical bills and still have some change left over to break down and buy books.

I am not good at buying presents. I can never get the right thing to make a person go, "wow! thanks m.lady!" What I can do is wrap presents. I have found that wrapping is very nice and meditative for me (no, really!). The revelation of the joy of wrapping gifts has also triggered a couple of stories.

So maybe I'll just give people really intricately wrapped presents and inside, once they rip open all of my handiwork they will find a note that says "this coupon is good for one cup of coffee." cuz who don't like coffee?

Or maybe it should say, "This coupon is good for one pizza." Because I know people who don't dig coffee (loonies), but who love pizza (right on).

Why is it that the days when I'm feeling good and right end with my nights spent watching "Project Runway: Canada"on YoutTube with Bob by my side and the days when I hate my outfit (what was I thinking?!) and my feet hurt (these shoes are too small!) and my tummy is all turned around and upset and my hands are jittery and my hair is seven directions of wrong and my nose is greasy and my lips are chapped and I'm out of breathmints and there's a stain on my sweater and I'm on my last roll of toilet paper and really need to get thyself to Walgreens end in nights spent with friends who convince me to go to a bar/art opening/sleep on their couch so I can go to work looking/feeling like this only hungover and smellier? Is that a Murphy's law?

The only reason more people don't read or think they don't like to read is that they aren't seeing the authors who are really doing something crazy and awesome.

I like sentences, especially when they're broken apart and twisted around and turned into something lovely and surprising. Like when someone makes an aquarium out of a television set. Like that.

In two weeks (if I get my library fines paid) I will be a graduate of a graduate program. Am I freaking out? Hell ya. Wanna hire me? Publish my book?

I'll settle for a hug.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i send you hugs! and if you where within a reasonable vincinity, i'd make your smelly ass sleep on my couch too - because i loves you, yes i do.